Our current night routine with two boys
Good morning, this is Asato, a life coach with a journal.
With two boys, one is 4 years old and the other is 1 year old, evening time can be chaotic with tears. However, step by step, by incorporating some night routines, our evening became much calmer and family bonding time.
In this article I want to share our new night routine that both myself and our boys enjoy recently. Nothing fancy, but it is doing a great job so far.
Solo-parenting phase in 2023
Ever since the second baby joined the family, I almost never had a moment when I was parenting alone. Maybe a day or two, but not more than that.
However, due to my work situation, my co-parenting buddy, my husband, was gone for a month in October. Plus a couple of weeks during November and December.
When I first acknowledged that it was coming, I felt overwhelmed by the power of two gangs. I was not sure how we were going to survive those weeks.
However, we managed to establish our own routines and even started some fun rituals. In the end it was not so bad, and I did enjoy the time alone with the boys.
Small ritual that we incorporated in daily life
We are a family with quite a strict evening routine, to make our life simpler and easier for everyone.
17:00 – Bath time
17:45 – Once everyone is clean and dried, start our dinner
18:30 – Dinner end + tidy up the dishes
19:00 – Stand up and head to brushing teeth, then to bed
No matter if it is weekdays or weekends, our evenings always look like this. Our boys are exhausted by 19:00, so once they are in bed, it doesn’t take that long to fall asleep.
However, as you can see, there is a small pocket of time between 18:30-19:00. It really depends on how long we eat, but I noticed that time can be quite tricky.
When we are parenting together, one will do the dishes, and the other play with the boys.
But when I’m alone with the boys, they are either in the kitchen moaning that I’m taking too long with cleaning. Or, playing aggressively in the living room which sometimes turns into chaos.
Luckily for me, it is not quite a fight but there are a few things a 1 year old cannot do and he gets really upset, or fun physical play becomes an accident. (One feet can bang into other one’s eye, falling off from the sofa, running around and slipping etc.. )
To minimize the chaos and to make the evening a little more peaceful, here are the routines that we incorporated step by step.
1) Countdown tracker
It was not easy for the boys to understand when daddy was coming back. So we made a visual calendar to track how many nights we have until he is back.
This idea came from a calendar I saw at a friend's place. They were counting down until their holiday and I really liked the visuals.
Creating the countdown tracker sheet was already a fun activity for our boy. And while I’m doing the dishes, the older boy will cut one piece off for the day.
And the boys played with the piece of paper, imitating it’s a ticket for an airplane or a taxi.
2) Watching the stars
After the dinner and washing the dishes, I always take some garbage to our compost which is sitting outside the kitchen, but boys hated staying alone at home. Although, it’s just outside the door, and it takes 4 seconds for me to come back.
To avoid screaming and crying, we decided to go out together, drop the compost in the bin, walk around the house and see the dark sky.
It’s actually very nice to feel the cold air of the night and to enjoy seeing the moon change its shape day by day.
It also add a few minutes to our Green time of the day.
3) Quiet moment with aroma diffuser
Seeing an aroma diffuser at our friend's house, it reminded me that I also have one that was sitting on the shelf forever, thinking it’s not suitable for our environment.
But I did want to give it a go and despite my little worry in advance, it worked perfectly. Of course, there were some spilling water incidents, but they were so excited with the white smoke coming out with a nice scent.
It became a great calm down moment before heading to bed, which otherwise tends to be some hustling around and getting too excited.
4) Tidying up
“Because daddy is not here, let’s clean up together” said our 4 year old.
My husband is proud to be the cleaner, saying no one does it as fast as him. But because he is not around, we decided to clean up together before turning the light off in the evening.
It’s funny how a 1 year old boy also understands, and he gets super motivated to put the toys in the box or on the toy counter. We did acquire good skills!
Now that I notice, the small pocket of time that I felt like a tricky phase of the day became a fun time for all of us.
I am doing what I need to do, such as cleaning the dishes and throwing the garbage, but still keeping the boys engaged and we are enjoying the time together.
Routine is the key for the little ones
It is often said that having a routine is a key for a successful life, but I feel like it also applies to kids too. I noticed when we repeat the same routine again and again, it becomes easier for kids to understand and enjoy.
It is quite interesting to see how a 1 year old now understands that when we go outside in the evening, he would immediately look up and point at the stars. It is fun to see a 4 year old proudly set the aroma diffuser and entertain us.
Rather than thinking “evening is too tiring for everyone…”, I feel like, at least for now, I managed to keep things under control, in a very positive vibe.
I no longer feel it’s a tricky time but I actually look forward to breezing the cold air outside with boys and then coming back for the scent of mint oil or lemongrass oil, while quickly tidying up the toys in the dimmed light.
Here is other article you might also enjoy, which I’ve written earlier on minimizing stress with parenting!
Today’s journaling prompt: What does your evening routine look like in this season of your life?