I am starting 7th year of life in Rwanda
Good morning, this is Asato, a life coach with a journal.
Can you believe this!? I’ve just marked my 6th anniversary in Rwanda. I don’t feel it has been that long, but it is quite a long journey when I reflect back step by step.
In this article, I want to reflect on how my life in Rwanda has been and share my insights. Overall, we are so grateful that my husband made the decision to challenge himself in Africa, and that we started a family here, and parenting in Rwanda.
Moving to Rwanda in 2017
My husband decided to come to Rwanda. I wish it was my decision, but I don’t think I had the courage. No, not even now, I don’t think I can quit everything and jump into somewhere I haven’t been.
He came to Rwanda one year prior to me, and I joined him in October 2017. Looking at “2017” doesn’t look that far (I mean, it’s not like 1998 or anything that far), so recognizing it's already the 6th year makes me feel strange.
To think like 6 years is long enough to grow a baby into a kid going to school. That’s a very long time! Plus, noticing so many families who experienced the lockdown in Rwanda have already left the country does make us feel a bit oldies here.
6 years is long enough to turn a girl into a mama with two kids.
6 years is long enough to turn “I have no idea what to do but subscribed to the hustle culture I need to get out there to work” mentality into “embrace and pursue wellness in a more sustainable and fun way” mentality.
6 years is long enough to turn “stability is the king, work at big corporate company” workaholic into a life coach with a journal who is loving hosting workshops to share my passion.
The beauty of living in a different country
I love living outside my passport country. Maybe this stems back to my roots. I was born in the States, grew up half in England and half in Japan.
Having exposure to “the other world” at an early stage has unconsciously taught me there is a whole world out there.
Getting outside of the bubble seems challenging. And there are so many people who tried to keep me in the bubble.
I can still remember to this day the word I received at the poolside bar in Mill Collines while sipping a beer. It was my old colleague, who was here for a business trip, who dared to say “you’ve wasted your whole career.”
Have I? Maybe yes. In that person’s perspective. But am I wasting my life? Not at all. I am experiencing the world that this person cannot feel. And I personally think what I am doing is more fun, than the life which everyone thought was normal and stable and good and….
This is to say, there are many opinions. But for me, I have made the best decision to dive into this continent, meet the people I wouldn’t have met if I was sitting in the Tokyo office, and evolve myself into a more interesting person.
Finding myself and my journey in a different country
What I really like about living abroad is that you can get out of the “standard”. Meeting friends from literally different parts of the world broadens my eyes.
There is not “right or wrong” when it comes to life, when it comes to how to parent, how to live. And I really love this diversity that challenges me to review my thoughts and ideas.
In Japan, we have this word “衣食住(i-shoku-jyu)” that describes three fundamental parts of our life. “I” means what you wear, “shoku” is what you eat and “jyu” is how you live. Today, I want to review how my life has evolved during these 6 years of living in Rwanda.
I – what I wear
What I wear has become much much simpler here.
Firstly, the beautiful weather doesn’t require a winter clothes lineup, so it means we can live off of half of the clothes. It’s so practical for us, but also with kids. I keep hearing “this won’t fit next winter…” but we wear the same clothes throughout the year. So, I feel like we are making the most out of our outfit for both adults and toddlers!
Secondly, there is less impulse shopping. Somehow, when I was living in a huge city, there was a certain pressure to go and buy new clothes every season. I was a terrible shopper and I don’t classify myself as a fashion girl, but still, I was buying something here and there. Here, with limited places to shop, I never buy any clothes.
Thirdly, I noticed that what I wear can be simple and I like it simple. I’m not wearing simple clothes because I don’t have clothes, but it’s just that I like less decorated minimal-vibe. No need for fancy fluff or sprinkles. I have less anxiety about wearing the same simple outfit again and again.
Shoku- what I eat
What I eat here also becomes simple. I used to eat out at least once or twice a week. It was either some work occasions, drinking with colleagues and weekend fun with friends. I missed the vibe at an early stage of Kigali life, as I had zero friends for almost a year. But that era turned me into a home cooking girl.
Plus, becoming a mama made me realize eating out is no longer a fun activity but a hustle, at least for now. I now prefer eating at home or some sort of pot-luck party at friends’ house. Going to restaurants with kids, with all the things to pack including a high chair is too much of a work. And we never get to sit and chat at the table, as we are constantly chasing after the kids.
Another change in my diet is I am leaning more and more toward vegetables. Back in Japan, I thought either fish or meat was mandatory when cooking, because that’s how my mum cooked. But moving to Rwanda where access to quality meat is limited, I learnt how to cook without meat.
Gently motivated by plant based trends, and maybe because of the age that we don’t desire chunks of meat so often, our plate is more and more healthier these days.
Jyu – how we live
This category must have had the biggest change. With the international move, there was a big shift geographically, which was followed by huge mindset changes.
I was raised in a hustle culture and I thought that is life. Go to school, get a good degree, join a big company, to gain money and stability. To quit the corporate ladder meant “stupid” or “death”, in a sense. That is why many people questioned me when I decided to leave the Corporate job and go to Africa.
Moving out of that mentality taught me there are more than jobs, the title, the money we earn. I’ve seen so many people sacrificing their own time for a job, having no hobby, no friends, no time with kids. It was normal back then, but now I really question if that is the life I want. No.
Paycheck is much smaller here, but I gained more time for myself, which led me to be a more creative person. Which also led me to study again, and to become a certified life coach.
And this is what I want to share as a life coach. Our life does not equal the job we do, whether it's your 9-5 job or full time mama duty. Life has so many aspect, and acknowledging those sides really opened my eyes. I hope to support and empower other ladies who are also trapped in the social pressure.
My version of minimalish life
I started calling my life as “minimalish life” when I began my creative journey with blogging. And maybe you have noticed it, but this newsletter is also called “minimalish life”!
I like this name because it explains what I’ve shared today. My life has become more and more minimal. Minimalism tends to focus on how many items we possess. Yes, the number of outfits in my closet has definitely reduced within the years.
But my focus is less on physical objects, but more on the metal side. Reducing the hustle. Reducing stress or unnecessary struggle. The more I let go of negative emotions, the more space I started gaining in my life. And now I am busy filling up the space with creative passions. And, as you may know, it also gets too overwhelming so I do need to declutter again from time to time..
Thank you very much for reading this far, reflecting on my life perspective. My life became more simple but more creative within these six years. I am so excited about what the next year will bring me!
Today’s journaling prompt: How has your lifestyle changed over the years?